Nearly's Smooth Moves

An in depth look at the many moves of the Nearly'. Smooth.

More llustrations to follow.



The Crow Approach
Arms akimbo, an ear splitting squawk like an outraged rook should make the ladies flock to you. For improved efficacy, subsidiary squawks should follow the inital offering, but be of a more querelous timbre. Only truly effective if the corvid imitations are absolutely realistic. Elbow waggling optional.



The Pigeon Approach
A crabwise sidle up to the intended paramour and an endearing coo.



The Direct Approach
Be frank. An honest "D'ya wanna shyag?" is sometimes the only option.


The Dwarf Dance
The secret lies in his curious dance! A swaggering strut, knees bent, arms loose and fingers snapping is reckoned irresistable in some circles. Most effective when accomanied by jazz-style hi-hat rythm sound effects.


The Mime
If you're too shy, lazy or drunk to woo with your melifluous voice, then simply beckon. Motion and gesture towards the bedroom, lassie style. Plaintive mewls are advised, where appropriate.